How many elephants can you get into a small car ?
Four: two in the front and two in the back.

How many rhinoceroses can you get into a small car ?
None, it's full of elephants.

What do you call a shrimp with a machine gun ?
Al Caprawn.

What lives at the bottom of the sea and shakes ?
A nervous wreck.

What's harder to catch the faster you run ?
Your breath.

What's black and white and red all over ?
A newspaper.

What has a neck but no head ?
A bottle.

When are eyes not eyes ?
When the wind makes them water.

What branch of the military do babies join ?
The infantry.

Why do you go to bed ?
Because the bed won't come to you.