How can you tell if there are elephants in your refrigerator ?
Footprints in the cream cheese.

What is the difference between a dog and a flea ?
A dog can have fleas, but flea can't have dogs.

What's the difference between a hungry man and a greedy man ?
One longs to eat and the other eats too long.

Whats the difference between a thief and a church bell ?
One steals from the people, the other peals from the steeple.

Whats the difference between a beached vessel and a wrecked airplane ?
One grounds on the land and the other lands on the ground.

What is the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe ?
One makes acorns, the other corns ache.

Why did the spy pull the sheets over his head ?
He was an undercover agent.

What's the difference between the business of a removal firm and a shop that sells note paper ?
One's moving, the other's stationery.

Why did the boy take a bicycle to bed ?
Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.

What should you always keep because no one else wants it ?
Your temper.