Hello? Fred's Restaurant.
Hello! Tell me, does your chef have pig's feet?
I can't tell, sir. He's got his shoes on!

Hello? Fred's Restaurant.
Hello! I'd like to know, do you serve crabs?
We serve anyone, sir! Come on in!

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player?
A wide receiver.

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a pelican?
A big bill.

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler?
Ringworm!

How do angels answer the phone?
Halo?

How do moulded fruit-flavored desserts answer the phone?
Jell-O?

How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?
Yellow?

How do, like, really laid-back types answer the phone?
Mellow.

Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire?
She wanted to lay it on the line!