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Monster
Jokes |
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MONSTER WOMAN: I have
the face of a sixteen-year-old girl.
RUDE MONSTER BOY: Well you'd better give it back then. You're getting it all wrinkled. |
FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can
lift a monster with one hand.
SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't!
FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it. |
JOHN MONSTER: Mum says
we're having Aunty for Christmas dinner this year.
JANE MONSTER: Well, she can't possibly be tougher than last year's turkey! |
What do you get if you
cross a bird with a monstrous snarl?
A budgerigrrrrr! |
FRED MONSTER: My sister
must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes.
BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My sister's tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope
after she's posted it. |
How did the midget monster
get into the police force?
He lied about his height. |
FRED: Your monster was
making a terrible noise last night.
BERT: Yes - ever since he ate Madonna, he thinks he can sing. |
| Mrs Monster has such
an ugly baby she doesn't push the pram - she pulls it. |
MONSTER TEACHER: If
I had two people beside me, and you had two people beside you, what would we have?
MONSTER PUPIL: Lunch! |
Why is the monsters'
football pitch wet?
Because the players keep dribbling on it. |
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Monster
Jokes |
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