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How do vampire footballers get the mud off?
They all get in the bat tub.
What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A blood hound.
Why does Dracula have no friends?
Because he's a pain in the neck.
What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails?
He cut all his fingers off.
What was the Californian hippie vampire like?
He was ghoul man. Real ghoul.
What's a vampire's favorite sport?
Batminton.
What happened to the two mad vampires?
They both went a little batty.
What do vampires cross the sea in?
Blood vessels.
What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day?
A coffin break.
Where do vampires go on holiday?
To the Isle of Fright.
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