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Mommy monster: Don't eat that uranium. Little monster: Why not? Mommy monster: You'll get atomic-ache.

Why was the horrible, big monster making a terrible noise all night? After eating Madonna he thought he could sing.

What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster? He became an ex-Ray.

Why did the monster eat a light bulb? Because he was in need of light refreshment.

What happened when the ice monster ate a curry? He blew his cool.

What do ghosts eat for breakfast? Dreaded wheat.

What do ghosts eat for lunch? Ghoul-ash.

What do ghosts eat for supper? Spook-etti.

The vampire went into the Monster Cafe. "Shark and chips," he ordered. "And make it snappy."

What makes an ideal present for a monster? Five pairs of gloves - one for each hand.

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