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Doctor, doctor, I've a terribly sore throat.
Go over to the window and stick your tongue out.
Will that cure it?
No, I just don't like the woman who lives opposite.
Doctor, doctor, I've broken my leg. What shall I do?
Limp.
Doctor, doctor, I've developed a double heart beat since my operation.
Ah, so that's where my wristwatch went!
Doctor, doctor, my aunt has a sore throat.
Give her this bottle of auntie-septic.
Doctor, doctor, my eyesight is getting worse.
It certainly is - this is the Post Office.
Doctor, doctor, my head is splitting.
Let me axe you one or two questions!
Doctor, doctor, my hearing aid isn't working.
What's wrong with it?

Half Past nine!
Doctor, doctor, my mind keeps wandering.
Don't worry - it's too weak to go very far.
Doctor, doctor, sorry I'm late, I broke my ankle.
Huh - another lame excuse.
Doctor, doctor, was the pain in my back a slipped disc?
No, twisted braces.
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