Why do demons and ghouls get on so well ?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend !

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend ?
A flat mate !

Where did Dr Jekyll find his best friend ?
In Hyde Park !

John: I'm going to cross a galaxy with a frog.
Jim: You'd better not. You'll be sorry.
John: Why ?
Jim: Don't you know what you'll get ?
John: No. What ?
Jim: Star warts !

Farley: Come on, Charley, I'll take you to the zoo.
Charley: If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me !

The young teacher was complaining to his friends about how badly he was being paid. ' We get a really poultry amount each month,' he said.
'You mean paltry,' corrected one of his friends!
'No I don't, I mean 'poultry',' replied the teacher. 'What I earn is chicken feed!'

Two friends who lived in the town were chatting. 'I've just bought a pig,' said the first.
'But where will you keep it?' asked the second. 'Your gardens much too small for a pig!'
'I'm going to keep it under my bed,' replied his friend.
'But what about the smell?'
'He'll soon get used to that.'