a faucet and a tomato had a race. How did it go?
The cabbage was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato
tried to ketchup.
was tied to a 15-foot rope, but he walked 30 feet. How come?
The rope wasn't tied to anything.
and an orange were on a high diving board. The orange jumped
off. Why didn't the lemon?
Because it was yellow.
was the name of a puppy who was always picking on larger animals.
One day he got into an argument with a lion. The next day was
the first day of September. Why?
Because that was the last of August.
can you make a slow horse fast?
Don't give him any food.
do chickens start a race?
do fireflies start a race?
When someone says, "Ready, set, glow!"
is a ghost child taught to count to ten?
One, boo, three, four, five, six, seven, hate, nine, frighten
had a daughter, what would her name be?
Misfortune - (Miss Fortune).
Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver
dollar across the Potomac?
Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.