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Did you hear about the stupid woodworm?
He was found in a brick.
Did you hear about the glow-worm that didn't know if it was coming or glowing?
Did you hear about the beautiful ancient Greek termite that lunched a thousand ships?
A woman walked into a pet shop and said, "I'd like a frog for my son."
"Sorry madam," said the shopkeeper. "We don't do part-exchange."
Slug: What happened?
Snail: Not sure, it all went so fast.
What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!
What were the only creatures not to go into the ark in pairs?
Maggots. They went in an apple.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete?
Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.
1st witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face.
2nd witch: It's because he's a hoptimist.
Spook: Should you eat spiders and slugs and zombie slime on an empty stomach?
Witch: No, you should eat them on a plate.
Witch: I'd like a new frog, please.
Pet Shop Assistant: But you bought one only yesterday. What happened?
Witch: It Kermit-ted suicide.
Back a page Slimies, Creepies & Reptile Jokes Forward a page
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