What did the cannibal mom say to her son who was chasing a missionary ?
Stop playing with your food !

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?
He cut all his fingers off !

What parting gift did the mummy werewolf give to her son when he left home ?
A comb !

'William,' shouted his mum. 'There were two pieces of cake in the pantry last night and now there's only one. How do you explain that ?'
'It was dark in the pantry, mum,' explained William, 'and I didn't see the other piece!'

1st Monster: What is that son of yours doing these days ?
2nd Monster: He's at medical school.
1st Monster: Oh, what's he studying ?
2nd Monster: Nothing, they're studying him!