Why did the chicken cross the road according to...
Aristotle: To actualise its potential.
Roseanne Barr: Urrrrrp. What chicken?
The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
George Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.
Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an Herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.